Flashbacks are experienced when people relive or remember something very frightening. Flashbacks are often experienced with increased physical and psychological arousal. Physically, the person may sweat, their heart rate increases, and breathing may become shallow and rapid. Subjectively, it can be described as “panic,” or “terror.” Some people report feeling “frozen,” or like they are “flinching.”
Separation Anxiety is common, yet can be very frustrating and upsetting for children (and their parents). Oftentimes, children have difficulties separating, and can experience panic in these situations. They may feel sick, and feel worried or guilty about not being with their families. Often children wonder what their parents or loved ones are doing and whether something terrible has happened to them, like death, a car accident, or a shooting. As a result, they have great reluctance or refusal to separate from their parents. They may have difficulty sleeping in their own room or different parts of the house. When they come home from school or camp, they may be irritable, tired, and upset, as it takes a lot of energy to hold that level of stress/anxiety in all day. Oftentimes, a loved one will make a simple request, and then the child will yell, cry, or tantrum.
The holidays are a beautiful time of year. We get time to spend with our families, we eat great food, and we most likely we have some warm holiday traditions that may also include meaningful or spiritual values. When handled well, holidays can be a time of connection and emotional reward. But, for many people the holidays can also be terribly stressful.
Bottom-line: It seems like standardized tests are here to stay. But the key to our children doing their best on them is NOT adding pressure or fear to the situation. Instead, it is teaching our children tools to manage their fears and thoughts. It is supporting them in their individuality, and helping them find the good things in their present world. And it’s helping them remember that some of the best things in life are not measured, but rather are experienced with kindness, love, and support.
For many people, unknown things can feel bad or scary. It seems that when we don’t know what to expect, we prepare for all the bad things that could happen. It makes sense; biologically, our bodies are perfectly wired to avoid danger. So when something frightens or upsets us, our hearts beat, our lungs take in more air, and our muscles tense, preparing for “fight or flight.” We try to process the information, make sense out of it, and stop it from happening. We are primed to keep ourselves safe.
Last week in Iowa City, there was a community experience of violence. Episodes of horrible violence also happened in other places, such as South Carolina. Community violence is something that many of us will experience. Recent research suggests that 39-94% of children will witness an episode of violence in their community at some point in their childhood.
If you are reading this, you or your child (or both of you) probably has some anxiety. You may be surprised to know that everyone has some stress, anxiety, or fear. It is part of the human condition. Our biology wires us to recognize and perceive danger. These are survival instincts, and actually quite miraculous. Anxiety allows us to stop, rather than walk out into traffic. It allows us an opportunity to question whether we should make decisions involving safety or taking risks. Anxiety can help us consider the feelings of others when we make decisions.
Similarly, one anxious person in a family who is consumed with stress or worry will result in other family members having similar stress reactions….
New longitudinal research, published by the University of Michigan, based on students from 1991-2012, found that students have smaller groups of peers than they did a generation ago. However, the data also suggests that due to increased contact through electronics and on-line exchanges, relationships tend to be closer than they were 20 years ago. Other research has also found that as teens rely more on electronics, they tend to become less interested and less skilled at direct, face-to-face social interactions
“In a new study, one group of researchers (Hogendoorn et al, 2014) attempted to find what parts of cognitive behavioral therapy were most helpful for anxious youth. Their findings were somewhat surprising. The children in their study benefited the most from the therapist coaching positive thinking skills (“I can do it,” “It’s not so bad,” etc.), rather than the therapist trying to decrease negative thinking patterns (“I don’t want to go.” “They’ll be mean.”) “
Oftentimes, parents, educators, and therapists teach anxious children social skills, such as assertiveness. Assertiveness skills are used to negotiate conflict or to ask someone else to do something differently. For example, an assertive 12 year-old girl may ask a peer to stop speaking negatively about a friend by saying something like, “Let’s not talk about […]
Many children are understandably scared and apprehensive about weather events, particularly if their community has suffered a tornado, hurricane, or natural disaster in recent years. Weather anxiety is commonplace among children, and it can also be helped.
