My story begins the night before I moved away to college. I remember the stillness of the house, the wind streaming through the open window next to my bed, lying awake and grappling with the realization that everything would change in the morning. A soft knock echoed in the room, and my mom popped […]
We are a culture that CONSUMES We are great consumers of food, coffee, alcohol, information, clothes, cars, concerts – if there is a thing, and that thing is good, we consume as much of it as we can. Sometimes, this tendency is harmless; then again, sometimes, it’s a pretty big problem. One of the ways […]
Dr. Burke had a television interview on CBS2/FOX28 on 11/18/16. You can find the interview here. It is entitled, “Helping others during the ‘season of giving’ helps you too.” Way to go Mollie!
“Having hope in the face of despair, doesn’t mean we’ve extinguished fear or whatever else we’re feeling. It means that we choose to go on in the face of it; we can feel discomfort while also being in touch with other parts of ourselves and our experiences. We don’t let despair, anger, whatever it is, define our entire world.”
…..Sharon Salzberg
Relationships can be hard. They change with us over time, as we change. Some are long, some are short. Some are romantic or emotionally involved. Some are not. Some are with co-workers, some are with people we supervise. But, all have signs of healthy and unhealthy patterns. And like avoiding accidents, some relationships are best watched with caution, and require careful monitoring. In some instances, it’s best to just get off the road.
For those of you who have not visited lately, there is a tree in the hallway outside our office. It’s not a real tree in the vegetative sense, but merely in the artistic sense. The tree is just a large sticker, and next to it, a sign asks, “What are your grateful for?” Simply take a post-it leaf or bird, write one small thing that you are thankful for, and put it on the tree.
We all could use some recognition for the things that we contribute, for our hard work, for our time. Get that process started by noticing and recognizing it in others.
A wise friend once said to me:
“Mollie, you’d never buy a footlong sub and then tell yourself – ‘I better eat this all in one bite.’”
At the time, I had a good laugh. And now, years later, I think of this all the time. Because when you put it that way, it makes so much sense – it’s crazy to set an expectation like that. You’d choke, you’d be sick, and you’d feel really terrible about that sandwich.
Most parents want nothing more for their children than to be happy and to succeed in life. Parents often spend a lot of time and money to help children in school become strong students. Teachers and schools emphasize grades and test scores as indices of how your child is doing, and even your child’s potential. Many people feel that children need to be intelligent or have good grades to become successful in life. The truth is, however, that there may be something more important than academics that we should be teaching our children.
An alternative self-care activity is something we learned in elementary school: art. It doesn’t have to be grand, and in fact, it is often better if it isn’t. It’s just supposed to be something enjoyable to you. Many people feel intimidated by the idea of doing some art for enjoyment. They may feel like they aren’t very good at it, or that they aren’t “artistic.” Most good art teachers will tell you than anyone can be an artist. Art is just a means of self-expression.
The holidays are a beautiful time of year. We get time to spend with our families, we eat great food, and we most likely we have some warm holiday traditions that may also include meaningful or spiritual values. When handled well, holidays can be a time of connection and emotional reward. But, for many people the holidays can also be terribly stressful.
For many people, unknown things can feel bad or scary. It seems that when we don’t know what to expect, we prepare for all the bad things that could happen. It makes sense; biologically, our bodies are perfectly wired to avoid danger. So when something frightens or upsets us, our hearts beat, our lungs take in more air, and our muscles tense, preparing for “fight or flight.” We try to process the information, make sense out of it, and stop it from happening. We are primed to keep ourselves safe.
