Being present and experiencing the world around us is so important. Around the holidays, many of us experience a wide array of emotions, from stress and overwhelm, to joy, excitement, and love. Grounding in the here and now can be a great way to slow down and experience the world around you. Here are two […]
Most people go through something terribly hard in their lives A study from the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology found that out of over 1000 people in the US, almost 70% had experienced some type of traumatic experience. These events can include things like traumatic death, sexual assault, and domestic assault. Rates are similar […]
It can be hard when you find out that someone does not like you. These situations are very common and happen to all people. Learning how to cope with social rejection is a big step towards a more meaningful life. When I was 10-years-old, I remember being the one girl in my class not invited […]
In my work with adolescents, marijuana issues are occasionally discussed. Sometimes, the teen has been using. However, often she or he reports that other friends and classmates are regular users. Frequently, I am told that it is easier for teens to buy marijuana than alcohol or cigarettes. Marijuana is a common drug that is used […]
Parenting is hard. Children are joyful, energetic, and loving; they are also often challenging, frustrating, and overwhelming. Many of us think of time-outs as a way to help our children understand when they are acting in ways that are unhelpful, harmful, hurtful, or dangerous. When this is the case, we often recognize that our children […]
We have known for a long time that there is a relationship between our thoughts, our feelings, and what we do. Cognitive behavioral therapists often refer to this as the cognitive triangle (pictured below). For example, if we tell ourselves, “This is going to be hard,” we often feel overwhelmed or scared, and our hearts […]
“Your dog is so mindful!” my neighbor yelled across the street. Although my kind neighbor was referring to my dog’s obedience, I smirked at the literal thought of my dog’s mindfulness. Mindfulness happens when we notice everything in the present moment. In doing so, we are often more grateful and more content. Sunshine, my 7-month-old Golden […]
Burnout is a common experience, particularly among high-achieving people. It can occur in tweens, teens, and adults. Often, burnout can occur as a result of employment roles, but also other care-giving roles, such as those of parents and helpers. What is burnout? Burnout is defined as a state of chronic, enduring stress. It is characterized […]
The ulitmate success is not about not having bad days/weeks anymore. The victory is that you are kind to yourself and keep going.
An alternative self-care activity is something we learned in elementary school: art. It doesn’t have to be grand, and in fact, it is often better if it isn’t. It’s just supposed to be something enjoyable to you. Many people feel intimidated by the idea of doing some art for enjoyment. They may feel like they aren’t very good at it, or that they aren’t “artistic.” Most good art teachers will tell you than anyone can be an artist. Art is just a means of self-expression.
While my generation and younger is thought to be full of selfish, shallow, entitled people (which I do not agree with), what I do think is that a lot of what we’re seeing is not too much self-love, but exactly the opposite. No real self love at all, in fact. Holes filled with insecurities. People who secretly do not feel worthy of the space they take up. People whose only memories of Earth have been of her demise, at the hands of humans. People obsessed with the system’s definition of accomplishment. People who are scared to look deeper, scared of what they’ll find there. People who listen to the voice of short-term happiness, over the deeper voice of long-term joy, because well they don’t trust the deeper one, or they’ve no idea how to hear it.
Looking back, growing up, I can’t think of a single conversation where my friends and I even mentioned the things we liked about ourselves, let alone reasons we loved ourselves. Just typing that makes me feel uncomfortable. The general message (especially as women) was that it’s okay to love things about other people but not ourselves.
As a Midwesterner, I come from the land of humble and hard-working. I value humility like crazy. We’re not big on self-love. But I’m starting to believe that you really do have to possess something first, before you can give it away.
Many of us will have to survive difficult people.
It may be a co-worker, a boss, a teacher, or another student. It could be a customer, or someone with whom you do business. Some of these people come and go in our lives, and some of these people are more permanent. Either way, trying to work or get along with difficult people can take a toll on us if we don’t find skills to manage these situations well.
